Hot Dog Alert (2nd Worst Food)

Alright so the summer is almost here and I didn’t want to miss a chance to talk about the hidden health issues hiding in food we eat the most during the hot months of the year: Hot dogs. If you are a know it all that is “well aware” of the dangers lurking in a seemingly defenseless hotdog, then you can stop reading. But if you don’t happen to know it all, then I suggest you stick around to find out why the hot dog has made it to number 2 on my list of (a drum roll please) “Top 10 Deadliest Foods!” (please read the title of my list like a WWF commentator).

Firstly, I want to disabuse you of the idea that your average, every day hotdog is made of meat; it most certainly is not! The average hot dog roasting on some random person’s BBQ is made up of a very large variety of things and honest, plain ‘ol beef isn’t one of them. Most hotdogs (especially beef hotdogs) are made up of the leftover gizzards of at least three or four different types of animals: pigs, chickens, turkeys and cattle. By gizzards I mean (including, but not limited to) beaks, eyeballs, livers, skin, bones, fetuses, poop encrusted intestines…you name it.

The second main ingredient in your average hotdog is saline water, similar to the kind Dr. 90201 uses to make boob implants have that “more natural feel”. The purpose of this saline water is to make the hotdog bigger than it really is. That way people can stand around campfires and go “Geez, look at all that meat for 40 cents! I just don’t know how they do it…” Of course the downside of this is that the average hotdog has the sodium you should consume in half a day.

The third ingredient in a hot dog is Nitrates which are a type of preservative proven to cause cancer. Yes PROVEN, as in like, the European Community doesn’t allow it in their food products. The reason it is used in the US is because it is a very strong and effective preservative, and when you have food that is made up of the gizzards of a bunch of different animals mashed together you need to make sure the food is properly preserved. After all, food companies only want you fat and ignorant, not dead!

The fourth NO-NO ingredient in hotdogs is MSG, which I won’t waste my time talking about because if you live on planet Earth you probably already know that MSG is bad and that it causes over 70 different symptoms and illnesses such as migraines, bloating and sudden death (almost).

So now that you have the hot truth on regular hot dogs, allow me to point out the obvious: stop eating them! Believe me, buying a $4 pack of 100% organic beef hotdogs with no nitrates, or 100% turkey dogs with no nitrates will be the best investment you can possibly make on your health throughout the summer.

As a health fanatic, I always look for “sustainable” ways of eating healthy. In other words, I don’t do weird crazy sh-tuff just to lose weight or get healthier if I don’t think it’s something I could do easily every day of my life (example: the Lemonade [from hell] Diet). But eating foods with chemicals as harmful as MSG and Nitrates is NOT AN OPTION. It’s not a negotiable point for me. I don’t go: “Well, it’s Saturday. I’m going to go easy on myself and have some salty, poisonous gizzards of a dubious nature.”

I hope you have a wonderful summer (if you are reading this from Nebraska or whatever please take into account that I’m in LA, where the summer has its own agenda and does not wait for June 21st).


  • RSS
  • Newsletter
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • NetworkedBlogs
  • YouTube